I am Who I Am: Fun Stuff

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

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3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

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4. There are three religious truths:

a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

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5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

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6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

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7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

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9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

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10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

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11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

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13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

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14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

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15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.

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16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

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17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

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19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

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21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?

Now get my free eBook "Your Personal Improvement Course" and continue your Journey

Are You a Free Thinker or an Intellectual Prostitute?

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Are You a Free Thinker or an Intellectual Prostitute?

- by Tony Mase

© Tony Mase - All Rights Reserved
http://www.constructivescience.com
=====================================================

As a father whose world revolves around his eight-year-old
son, most of what little television I've watched over the
last eight years has been kids' shows, primarily cartoons.

Although I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, one of my
current favorites is "SpongeBob SquarePants".

I don't know why, it just is. :-)

One of my favorite episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" is
titled "Selling Out".

In this episode, SpongeBob's employer, Mr. Krabs, sells "The
Krusty Krab" restaurant for a trailer filled with suitcases
full of money to a corporate conglomerate that intends on
turning "The Krusty Krab" into a big chain.

Although it's what he always wanted, Mr. Krabs, now rich
beyond his wildest dreams, quickly discovers retirement
isn't all he thought it would be.

As a matter of fact...

He finds himself bored out of his mind with absolutely
nothing to do.

So...

Mr. Krabs takes a job as a busboy and dishwasher at "The
Krusty Krab", now renamed "Krabby O' Mondays", only to find
out it's no longer the restaurant it once was...

Everything is now very carefully "scripted", tightly
controlled by a manager following corporate manuals full of
strictly enforced policies, procedures, rules and
regulations...

Squidward is constantly smiling...

Mr. Krabs' beloved "Krabby Patties" are no longer made by
hand using the finest ingredients, but by a machine using
recycled garbage passed off by slick marketing to
unsuspecting customers as real food...

And...

Even worse...

The customers' money is no longer collected by real sea
creatures, but by an automated cash register.

When Mr. Krabs questions Carl, the new manager of "Krabby O'
Mondays", Carl tells Mr. Krabs "it's better if you don't
know" and closes the office door in his face.

Unable to take anymore...

With SpongeBob and Squidward standing by, scared to death to
say anything for fear of being "punished"...

Mr. Krabs, who hasn't read the employee handbook, nor cares
to, violates company policy and...

Speaks out...

Loudly...

So loud...

Everyone, including the customers, can hear what he knew to
be "wrong".

With an "uprising" clearly underway...

Carl grabs his cell phone, calls corporate headquarters and
says something to the effect of:

Code red...

We have a free thinker!

When I first saw this episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants", it
immediately reminded me of a passage I'd read in a book just
a few days earlier and had been pondering...

In "How to Get What You Want", a book he wrote prior to "The
Science of Getting Rich", the book for which he's best
known, Wallace D. Wattles writes:

"If you are an employee and desire promotion, put life into
everything you do; put in more than enough life and interest
to fill each piece of work."

"But do not be servile; never be a flunkey; and above all
things avoid the intellectual prostitution which is the vice
of our times in many trades and most professions."

"I mean by this the being a mere hired apologist for and
defender of immorality, graft, dishonesty, or vice in any
form."

"The intellectual prostitute may rise in the service, but he
is a lost soul."

"Respect yourself; be absolutely just to all; put LIFE into
every act and thought..."

Interesting...

Although Wallace D. Wattles wrote these words nearly one
hundred years ago, they could have just as easily been
written today.

Think about it...

The "intellectual prostitution which is the vice of our
times in many trades and most professions" has since risen
to the level of an art form and even become a profession in
and of itself.

All levels of business and government are virtually
overflowing with paid apologizers, defenders and ignorers of
immorality, graft, dishonesty, or vice...

People who've "sold out" their beliefs, morals and values
for a paycheck, and often not a very big one at that,
totally oblivious to the true cost...

"A lost soul," as Wallace D. Wattles put it.

Jesus, the Master Teacher, once asked:

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole
world, and lose his own soul?"

With that in mind...

My question for you to ponder today is...

Are you a "free thinker" like Mr. Krabs or an "intellectual
prostitute" like Carl?

The choice is yours...

Make it a good one...

It may well mean the difference between having respect for
yourself and being "a lost soul". :-)

-----

Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D.
Wattles and the publisher of the "A Powerful Life: The Lost
Writings of Wallace D. Wattles" ebook by Wallace D.
Wattles...

==========================================================
"A Powerful Life: The Lost Writings of Wallace D. Wattles"
"How to Get What You Want" by Wallace D. Wattles together
with twenty-four other rare books and articles written by
Wallace D. Wattles.
Click Here => http://www.wallacedwattles.com
==========================================================