An Anxious Life - Your Fears and Your Family By Erika Krull, MS, LMHP

No, you don’t have an anxiety problem. You don’t feel jittery or get sweaty palms every day. How could that be true? Well, a life lived from a base of anxiety and fear might look different than you’d expect. And you might be surprised by the impact your fears have on your family.

When you operate out of your anxieties and fears, you may not see the whole picture. Since you don’t seem to have obvious symptoms of anxiety, you might very likely brush this off. But here’s the key to understanding this viewpoint. People with a perspective largely influenced by fear and anxiety often live life in a tiny “box”. They cut themselves off from most things that could provoke their anxiety. And if they successfully avoid these opportunities, they may not feel classic anxiety symptoms all that often.

They have missed the whole point that their life is lived to avoid feeling anxious whenever possible. They trade interest and excitement for feeling comfortable and safe. If this person’s true anxiety problem isn’t addressed and treated, they may live many years before they understand the bigger impact of their behaviors and choices.

When you have a family, everything you do could potentially impact someone besides yourself. Life is no longer just about you and your absolute comfort level. Marriage pushes you to go beyond yourself and think of your spouses needs and happiness. Having kids presses your boundaries of patience, learning, and maturity. And these are good things, things that can help you develop into a more well-rounded fulfilled human being.

If you regularly refuse to visit family, turn down your kids’ invitation to visit them at school, avoid going to social events, and say no to travel opportunities with your family, start thinking hat that’s about. You know your own life better than I do, so I’m not accusing everyone of having an anxiety problem if they really don’t like their mother in law! No, I’m asking you to consider the bigger pattern. And if you think this might describe your spouse, think about how they generally approach life.

Living life to avoid anxiety is like playing not to lose. You try to keep yourself so safe, you might really cut yourself out of real life. Your kids start getting used to you not being involved in family activities. Your spouse might start assuming you are MIA when it comes to holidays and social gatherings. Your withdrawal creates exactly what you hoped for - distance and low expectations.

Your attempts to make yourself feel safe and unthreatened may actually be the moves that further cut you off from everyone. And when you realize how lonely you are, it may be hard to reconnect. Your spouse and kids may become very frustrated with their hopes to connect with you and your continued efforts to stay safe. And when you do try to connect, they may or may not have much hope it will last.

By withdrawing into a tiny box, you pull away a piece of each family member’s soul with you. This is what untreated anxiety can be like. And without very many obvious symptoms of anxiety - silently pulling the family apart.

Erika Krull, MS, LMHP is a practicing licensed mental health counselor in Nebraska.

Getting to Know Fears and Phobias

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A person’s fear can hinder his chances for development and for success. Fear in itself can be debilitating and can limit a person’s ability to go through life in a healthy way. Sometimes, a person’s fear can rule a person’s life and he becomes bereft of reason.

A person who allows his fear to rule his life can be prevented from leading a normal life. The sad fact is that the person who has the fear is not the only one affected, but also his family, friends, and the people around him.

Fear can be healthy because it allows a person to be on his toes and to be watchful of what is happening around him. A person can actually make his fears work for him instead of against him. Then again, this requires a lot of self-control and positive thinking.

A person’s fear can be caused by an event that happened some time ago, or by a belief that he is not capable of dealing with something or someone. There are fears that have a real basis, but most fears are just the creations of one’s imagination.

Phobia is also a fear of something, but such fear can be considered irrational. A phobia can be ridiculous and exaggerated such as a person’s fear of cats or of water. Some people who have developed phobias are aware that the fear is not based on rational thinking; but unfortunately, they are not able to get hold of their emotions and rise above their irrational fear.

Some people are quick to equate phobia with insanity; but it is not fair to conclude that just because a person is phobic, it means that there must be something wrong with his sanity. A person’s phobia can sometimes be embarrassing, especially when he is not able to control such fear. There are people who actually shiver and hide when confronted with their phobias.

Phobias can be simple like the simple fear of being in an enclosed area, or complex like the fear of riding an airplane. A social fear can be manifested in the fear of public speaking or of being surrounded by a crowd. Most phobias are characterized by panic attacks such as when the person is confronted by his phobia and he is forced to come face-to-face with it.

It is normal to be afraid because fear is rational. However, a fear that becomes irrational and is already without basis, is already called a phobia. It is no longer normal and can disrupt a person‘s lifestyle.

A person who wants to get rid of his phobia should not turn to doctors who dig deeper just to discover the root cause of the phobia. Such an activity can be a waste of time because finding the underlying cause of the phobia will not get rid of it. What is more important is to be determined and strong-willed so that the person’s fears will no longer rule his emotions. If a person can learn how to handle his emotions, then he can get rid of his phobia.

Need more information, go to The Phobia Release Program.

'At Last A Life' The Complete Book For Cure From Anxiety and Panic Written by ex-sufferer Paul David

INTRODUCTION

Let me introduce myself. My name is Paul David and I suffered from every aspect of the anxiety and panic disorder for 10 years, until I reached the point where I thought I could never recover. I would panic whenever I went out and suffered chronic anxiety until I could no longer function properly. I was constantly depressed, had no interest in life and thought I was going mad. I felt as if I was walking round in a dream while the world passed me by. I lost my job, many friends and, more importantly, it robbed me of my whole personality. What had happened to that once confident person who could enjoy life?

This is when I first went to see a doctor. I remember that first meeting like it was yesterday, me sat there talking at 100 miles an hour, thinking "I don't know what's wrong with me, but you're a doctor, just give me my magic pill and I will be on my way." Well all I was told was to go on my way and take it easy. I did not want to take it easy. I knew there was more to it than that, but if the doctor did not know what was wrong with me, then it must be serious. This was the start of 10 years of being seen by one doctor after another, one therapist after another, so called experts that just read from a medical manual and taught me nothing at all. In fact I never even got an explanation of what was wrong with me. I spent more money than I care to remember on so called miracle cures. I tried every treatment available to me and nothing worked. If only I had known then what I know now, I could have saved myself all those years of suffering.

To read more about my UK friend Paul David Click Here

"How Would You Like To Gradually Lessen The Intensity Of Your Panic Or Anxiety Attacks Until Those Attacks Are Gone For Good?!"

Anxiety disorders are varied and include things like social anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and phobias. Millions of people around the world are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder during their lifetimes, and so many are looking for answers as to what has caused this medical condition, which can be quite serious. The title here may be misleading, because there really is no one cause of anxiety disorders. You may have an anxiety disorder for any number of reasons, or a combination of reasons. In order to learn more about your condition and try to pin point its cause, here are a few of the things that play into the development of an anxiety disorder.

First and foremost, many people want to know if anxiety disorders are genetic and can be passed on to future generations. Studies show that this may be the case. If a parent has an anxiety disorder, there is a chance that you may get this disorder as well. However, family factors may play a role in this as well. When you are raised in a household in which someone has an anxiety disorder, you are essentially taught these panic behaviors as well. Phobias are especially common to be passed to other family members. Insure relationships with parents may also cause anxiety disorders later in life. In short, this may be partially due to genetics, but also has something to do with your childhood environment as well.

Other environmental experiences outside of your childhood living conditions play into the development for anxiety disorders as well. If you have a traumatizing event as a child, or even as an adult, that even could either stay with you, causing post-traumatic stress disorder, or could affect your thinking, causing other types of anxiety disorders. Social pressures and culture may play a role in this as well, teaching people to become anxious at certain times or fearful of certain things.

An anxiety disorder may also be the result of health factors not related to genetics. Phobias and other anxiety disorders sometimes develop due to a chemical imbalance in the brain, especially with the chemical serotonin, which also affects depression in some people. Evolution comes into play, because you automatically have a fight-or-flight system built into our brains. The foods we eat, amount we exercise, and sleep we get every night all play roles into how our brain functions.

Lastly, anxiety disorders may develop due to stress. When you are stressed about something, you may find that you slow start to wear out. While our bodies are built to handle certain amounts of stress, over time, this simply breaks down and we give in to anxiety, which can develop into an anxiety disorder. No matter what the reason, however, it is simply important that you ask for help dealing with your condition.

I urge you to get Anxiety-You Are Not Alone

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Cognitive-Behavior Therapy

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Cognitive-Behavior Therapy: Could it Work for You?

Anxiety disorders can be very difficult medical conditions with which to live. However, if you are suffering from panic disorder, social phobias, generalize anxiety disorder, or any one of the number of other anxiety disorders, all is not lost. By talking to your doctor, you can get help controlling your symptoms and treating these disorders at the core. One form of treatment you can consider is cognitive-behavior therapy.

Cognitive-behavior therapy is a combination of cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. With cognitive therapy, a person learns to understand and change their thoughts and beliefs. With behavioral therapy, a person learns to change specific actions. Combining these two therapies is not difficult and has provided anxiety disorder patients with the very best results.

Cognitive therapy focuses mainly on patients recognizing certain things within themselves. Many people are confused about cognitive therapy—it isn’t about changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts in order to push for happiness. Instead isn’t about changing destructing thoughts that are often repetitive and feed into anxiety to thoughts that are more easily controlled and do not trigger anxiety attacks.

Behavior therapy, on the other hand, focuses on changing your actions instead. Relaxation and breathing exercises are common with behavioral therapy for anxiety disorder patients. Another type of behavioral therapy treatment commonly used is desensitization, which places patients in situations that cause anxiety gradually, in order to get used to the idea and control the anxiety.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy does not work well for absolutely everyone. While there are many people who can benefit from this form of treatment, there are others who will do better with other treatments. If you are considering cognitive-behavioral therapy, you need to meet two qualifications. First, you have to be motivated to change. If you are resistant to change, you won’t do the work required to make cognitive-behavioral therapy work and recovery is not possible. Secondly, you need to have access to a therapist specially trained to deal with cognitive-behavioral therapy. Your doctor can help you find a professional in your area.

In short, think about trying cognitive-behavioral therapy as a form of treatment for your anxiety disorders, even if nothing else has helped you. When you seek treatment, you put yourself on the right track for actually feeling better.


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Fear – When You Can’t “Just Get Over It”

Fear – When You Can’t “Just Get Over It”

Have you ever tried to explain to a friend or family member your fear of driving? Sometimes the reaction you’ll get won’t be the one you’re looking for. Instead of a sympathetic shoulder, you often get rolled eyes and a response like, “Just forget about it,” or “You have to get over it.”

It isn’t always as easy as turning off your fears like you would a faucet. Fears are embedded in our conscious and subconscious mind. They become ingrained as a formal belief system that we hold.

Getting past a fear like driving doesn’t necessarily mean it will ever be completely erased from your mind, but you can find ways of relieving the panic and anxiety you feel when confronted by your fears.

Facing fears is often the most difficult thing we can do. It’s our instinct to avoid those things that worry us or that we fear will do us harm in some way, whether it’s physical or emotional turmoil.

The first thing you have to do is examine the fear of driving to see if it’s credible or irrational. It doesn’t matter if it is irrational; you’ll still need to find a way to deal with it. But giving it a realistic examination will help you find a solution to your anxieties.

For instance, you might fear that you’ll get lost and have to stop for directions. When examining the evidence, you see there have been previous times you’ve gotten lost. This is a valid fear that would require you to take action in the form of being sure to bring a map and maybe a cell phone.

An irrational fear might be having a panic attack every time you drive more than 10 miles from home. When examining this fear, you find that whether you’re near to home or further away, the act of driving is the same and the fear isn’t justified.

Either way, you’ll need to take the next step, which is dealing with your fear responsibly. For irrational fears, you’ll need to learn how to remove the bulk of the stress you feel by calming yourself down before you allow panic to ensue.

You might do this by using breathing techniques, self-hypnosis, or even (in some rare cases when you can’t control your fears), through prescribed anti-anxiety medications.

Don’t ever let yourself become prisoner to your fear of driving (or any other fear, get my free report below). Whether you have a close support system or not, you have the power to take control and diminish the effect it has over you and your life.


Get The Free Report "The Anxiety Game" by Clicking Here


Brought to you by Timothy Kendrick International